Right Brain Left Brain

Writer's Block-Not

2010-07-07T17:39:00.000-05:00

The words, the ideas
exploding in my brain like popcorn
as easy to get on paper
as a toddler's chocolatey fingers get on mama's white dress
The words, the ideas
they keep coming
and
coming
Shh...don't talk to me
I'm in the zone.
Actually, I can't hear you.
But I say "uh-huh" (Translation: yes) to every question you ask me.
You should know better than to ask me if I'm okay with you buying a new car when I'm
pounding
pecking
the square black keyes
or
staring at the ceiling
mouth hanging open
doing acrobats with words
in my head
or
reading aloud strings of words dressed in
Times New Roman 12pt, black
Deleting
deleting
adding
adding
rereading
placing a comma
there,
that's better
Shit!
It's 6:00 already?
Ugh, I have to make dinner.
There you go again with your questions.
Just because I'm chopping green onions
doesn't mean I can hear you.
I slice the ripest red tomato.
Aha! He will give her the necklace in a bright red velvet pouch.
Or maybe she'll "discover" it between the pages fo her favorite novel.
Oh, I know...

**Author's note: It's been a while since I've written. I miss those energy filled days and hope to get back into the zone again.

In Search of "The Bike"

2010-06-13T22:06:00.001-05:00

Summer is here and I don't have a bike. I used to have a mountain bike when I lived in the city, but it was stolen. Imagine that.

It's time I get a bike. A bike with a basket. Maybe even a bell. It need not go fast or have 10 gears. If it gets me from point A to point B in one piece and has some sort of "storage" (sprinked with a bit of nostalgia) I am good to go.

My 8 year old gal and I intend to ride to the library, to the ice cream shop (maybe I should spell it "shoppe"), and to the pool.

I desperately want a "vintage" style Schwinn. The one above is actually the 2010 Schwinn Debutante (how cute is it!!?) but is more than I want to pay. So...I am rearching Craigslist and eBay.

Schwinn makes bikes for Target that are far cheaper...but that's how they ride. I know this because today I rode one up and down the aisles of Target, mortifying my daughter as I chipperly said "excuse me" to people who were in my way.

What I want even more than than a Schwinn, but I'll never get because it is obnoxiously expensive is the Madsen cargo bike . Holy coolness! Forget taking the car to the grocery store. I could so see myself spending my summer on one of those bikes. But let's be honest, this bike would fare much better in a small ocean-side village. A trip to the beach and then to the market to grab fresh fish and veggies to grill for dinner. Ahh...would that not be the perfect summer life. Maybe some day.

For now, I am on a mission for a sturdy vintage Schwinn with a basket that I can ride to the ice cream shoppe.

Am I Losing My Religion?

2010-05-02T18:03:00.001-05:00

The wave of guilt hit again.

Sunday.
White dresses.
Family gatherings.

For the past two weeks it seems like every second grader in our community was celebrating her first communion.

Not my daughter.

Concerning religion, I’ve been a lazy mom.

I was brought up Lutheran. My daughter was baptized Lutheran. I grew up going to church every single Sunday with a Lutheran mom and a Catholic dad. Both of my parents are highly spiritual people. So am I.

But I just can’t get myself and daughter to church. I’m an Easter and Christmas gal. I go on those holidays because if I didn’t I would feel like a poser. I mean, how can I allow my daughter to enjoy Christmas gifts and chocolate Easter bunnies without recognizing the holiday in a religious fashion? I just wouldn’t be right.

As a parent I feel strongly it is my duty to expose my child to a religious framework that she can either accept or reject later in life. I say my duty, because my husband won’t touch religion with a ten foot pole. Thus far, I have failed. She asks questions…so many questions.

What happens when we die?
Is God a girl or a boy?
How do we know God is with us?
Can we see God?
Is God in our room right now?

And I have lots of answers. I explore each question with her. I let her know what I believe, but in the same breath I let her know that that many different beliefs exist.

I don’t go to church. Does that make me less spiritual? Less religious? Sometimes, yes. Many times, no.

I know many people who are not spiritual at all and go to church every Sunday – you know, go through the motions. I know moms who’ve shoved their kids in a special weekly night class so that they could get their first communion – even though the parents don’t go to church just because it’s the thing to do.

I can’t do that.

I’m not a “going through the motions” kind of gal. If I’m going to commit to attending church on a regular basis and drag my kid along, it better be something I am truly committed to, heart and soul.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what it is that keeps me away. I think much of it has to do with the old fashioned delivery system. Go to service, sit and listen.

Dread.

I’m a conversationalist. I like to be challenged, not told. I appreciate flexible thinking and get excited about new discoveries.

But this is not what my experience has been.

Arrive. Sit. Listen. Go home.

And then… discover that those who lectured you in church can hardly practice what they preach.

Yes, the pastor who confirmed me had an affair with a member of the congregation. I soon after joked that my confirmation was null and void. Don’t worry, he is long gone. But it did leave me with questions…

Lot’s of questions. Not about him, but rather about life in general. I believe strongly that we don’t have it all figured out and that our thinking and practices need to evolve.

I could go on and on. And this is why I just can’t sit and listen.

I am spiritual. I am thoughtful. I am curious. I am good-hearted.

Is that enough for my daughter?

Do I need the four sacred walls and the scriptures?

I have not yet found my answer, but I am committed to figuring out with my daughter how we shall proceed.

She knows my distress concerning this. She was the one who wiped away the tear that suddenly danced down my cheek as she told me no one could play because everyone was having their first communion.

“Mom, whatever you think we need to do…I’ll do.”

Bless her heart.

THINK Inside the Box

2010-04-08T21:35:00.006-05:00

------------------------------------------------------------------------

THINK outside the box.

You know, be creative, THINK outside of your normal realm of practice, take a risk, try something new, yadda, yadda, yadda.

But…

What about inside the box?

Do you ever hear your boss at a meeting say ‘THINK inside the box”? Yea, I didn’t think so.

THINKing outside the box is glamorized. It’s creative, smart, edgy. Sometimes rebellious, sometimes ahead of it’s time. It wears a leather jacket, red hair and cool sunglasses and says “Move over. I’m hip. I’m where it’s at.” You know it, because people believe they’re bad ass when they utter “THINK outside the box”.

And then there’s inside the box. Plain Jane. Standard. Square. Comfortable in its old sweater and comfy sneakers. Nothing glamorous about THINKing inside the box.

But…

Glamour isn’t everything.

Too often when something isn’t working, we have a tendency to step all the way outside of the box and start anew when in reality all that is needed is a little tweaking inside the box. Inside the box: What is working? What is good? What already has value? How can we rearrange, tinker with, and clean up the elements that already exist inside the box? In the process, what gem might we uncover? Ever find a $20 when you clean your closet out?

Sometimes we make problem solving too difficult and in searching for answers outside the box, we are missing the boat and overlooking a gem that may already be in our possession.

THINK about it.

Quieting the Mind of My Highly Sensitive Child

2010-02-26T19:26:00.001-06:00

I've got a highly intuitive and deep thinking child. Although a gift, right now it's her curse. She's had a difficult year, mainly due to her very intense teacher -- and she's only in the second grade! As a teacher myself I am deeply saddened that my child says "I'm stressed" at the end of the school day.

My child is incredibly receptive to the moods in a room, vibes one is giving off and all the sublte nuances of nonverbal languge. She's one of those kids that "get's it", but doesn't always know what to do with all of "it". However, as we all know, ignorance is bliss. Often times overwhelmed by all the "signals" and information she picks up on coupled with her perfectionistic ways, she has become quite the anxious child this school year.

Knowing what a tough year my daughter has experienced, one of my collegues suggested I read the book The Highly Sensitive Child. The book's title refers to those children that are "deeply reflective, sensitive to the sublte, and easily overwhelmed". A fabulous read, the book confirmed the need for parents to embrace these qualities and allow overly sensitive children to feel heard and to not make these children feel "foolish" or "shameful" of their overly sensitive ways. Highly aware of her sensitive nature, my child wishes she would not worry so much about "silly" things. Telling her that her worries are "silly" only makes matters worse.

In an attempt to help quiet my kid's body and mind at the day's end, we've begun to do both yoga and meditation. Although I am personally familiar with the healing effects of both activities, I am quite stunned at how well yoga and meditation have worked in helping to quiet my child's mind. The key in both of these activities is the refocusing of energy -- focusing on the here and now and not worrying about "what might be."

Her yoga lessons come from Exercise TV via On Demand. She loves yoga time. She gets all dressed up in exercise clothes, pulls out the yoga mat and has at it. Since she does the adult yoga lessons, they require a lot of concentration...and that's the secret. She is too busy focusing on the positions and her breathing (and sometimes laughing hysterically at the video) that she's not worrying at all about the progress she is making on her portfolio that is due in class. Yeah, did I say she was only in the second grade?

The other savior has been a fabulous little children's meditation book I found at Amazon.com. When it first arrived at our house I scanned the pages and was worried my daughter might end up laughing as I read the meditations to her. She has a great sense of humor and I feared her running with these meditations in the wrong way. However, she loves them as they were intended to be used. I read one to two each night and she just melts away to sleep. The meditations require the child to visualize what is being read and the refocsuing of the mind relaxes her instantly.

One of the meditations asks the meditator to pin any worries they may have on a "worry tree". Bless her soul, my daughter asked it we could make a worry tree from felt and hang it in her room. We settled, however, on a worry box. We've only use the box once so far, but once again I was shocked that it worked so well. I know if I wrote down my worries on a piece of paper and threw them in a box, I'd still have those worries. But the moment she put her worries in a box she said, "Okay, guess I don't have to worry about that anymore." Really? I guess for a child it can really work. She carried out the rest of evening free of worries.

Aside from being overly sensitive (just a portion of her personality), my child is a joyful, fun-loving and witty little soul who enjoys nothing more than a good laugh and the opportunity to be creative. When she is not worrying, she is so easy to be around and enjoys life to the fullest. I am truly honored to parent her and welcome the challenge of coaching my child on how to best cope with her highly sensitive nature so that she can lead a positive, productive and fulfilling life.

How Times Have Changed.

2010-02-07T16:26:00.000-06:00

My mother, who will be turning 70 years old this July, passed on to me this little book that used to be her mother's. Assuming that my mother was born a few years after my grandparents married, this book must have been published in the mid to late 1920's. It is a riot to read.

I've scanned one of my favorite pages. Oh Golly.

(click on image to read text)

The Magic Powers of a Little Pot

2010-01-16T21:02:00.001-06:00

I've been transformed by a little pot. No, not that kind of pot...a neti pot. Do you even know what one is? I didn't until last year. But appearantly there is a whole secret society of people who have known about the neti pot for years and have been reaping the benefits of this little wonder. Why it took me (the queen of sinus infections) so long to find out about this is beyond me.

The neti pot is, well...a pot. I use the one from the Himalyan Institute.

The purpose of the neti pot is to both irrigate and flush out the nasal passages. Sounds gross, I know. But if you suffer from chronic sinus infections and all your doctor offers you is antibiotics, you may want to read on.

Just like clockwork, my sinuses began to act up at the start of January (as they do every January). I remember somebody telling me about the neti pot and I began my research on it at 3:30 am on an early January morning because my sinus irritation wouldn't let me sleep. I read every page and watched every video on the Himalyan Institute's website. I was hooked. Not only could this potentially be an antibiotic-free solution to my sinus problems, it just made so much sense! Also, the neti pot, used daily can prevent illness from happening in the first place.

The very next morning I visted the new organic store in my area (they have a great website too) and I purchased a pot and some other funky homeopathic super-charged vitamins. I was feeling hopeful!

Fast forward two weeks. I can't sing the praises of the neti pot enough. It took me about a week to get over the sinus illness (about the same time as when I pop antibiotics), but my breathing was so much freeer and I experienced absolutely NO sinus pain -- a first for me! It is common for me to suffer through sinus and asthma issues all of January and February. I am feeling optimistic, however, that with the daily use of the neti pot I will stay healthy.

I cannot believe that my allergist and ear, nose, throat doctor never mentioned the neti pot as a solution. Well, I guess if I want to me a pessimist I can come up with a few reasons why it was never mentioned, but that is not like me. I am just thankful I learned about this ancient eastern practice and am excited to have an illness free winter!

In 2010 I Will...

2010-01-02T17:09:00.001-06:00

Shit or get off the pot: Yes, this is my year to shit or get off the pot. Usually, I live life to the fullest, giving 100% of myself to people, issues, and jobs, etc. For the past few years, however, I have been living a life of fractions concerning a few very important matters in my life, only giving ½ or maybe ¾ of myself – not because I was lazy or uncommitted, but because I have been figuring things out. I needed to step back a bit and get a “birds-eye” view and that can’t be done while lounging in the nest, so to speak. So I flew around the perimeter for awhile. Well, I think I’ve got the perspective I need. Now it’s time for me to fly one 100% in the direction I need to go. Just do it already. Ya know?

Find a new physical challenge: I want to get into even better shape than I am now (and I think I’m now in the best shape I have ever been in). Not so much I because I want to look good in clothes, but because I want to see what I can do physically. I’m in a bit of a fitness rut. I’m exploring new territory like TRX classes and swim fitness classes (heard this new instructor is an ass kicker – love that!). I also need to get back into yoga – it’s a flexibility thing and I’m learning first hand that it’s one of the first things to go with age.

Read more: I used to read a ton. I like anything that informs me, challenges my thinking or takes me away. What happened? What am I waiting for?

Find some new activities for me a my daughter to enjoy together: My daughter is my best bud. So fun and easy to be around, I truly LOVE hanging with her. I want, however, to find some new adventures. It is way to easy for us to stay home and write stories, bake, listen to music and play dolls. Come summer time, I want to explore canoeing with her and I need a new bike so that we can go on bike rides together. At this time she is a bit interested in learning to play the violin (always my dream) and there is one music school in the area that has parent and child learn together. I might have to look into that. :)

Crisis: Devil or Angel

2009-12-21T20:00:00.000-06:00

One of my dearest friends is in the midst of a crisis and I could not be happier for her, for Crisis is an angel disguised as the devil.

For quite sometime I have been worried about my friend. A workaholic, perfectionist and pleaser to the max, my gal pal has developed some bad habits; namely taking care of everyone else and not herself.

A talented and exceptionally bright young woman, my friend helped build and run a multimillion dollar company of which she was very proud. As a minor owner she did quite well. Although successful, this profession was never a passion of hers but you would never know it by the endless hours and emotional energy she poured into the company. Recently, the company was sold to three guys; two of whom (as it turns out) have criminal track records of the financial businesses variety. Once autonomous, she is now being micromanaged by these shady guys.

Run.

But where to?

That’s what she’s figuring out. Although saddened and deeply stressed by the recent turn of events, she knows that this is her time…her opportunity.

It’s been a long time coming. I’ve actually secretly prayed for something to shake her hard enough and release her from the grips of her current life patterns.

She’s in the perfect place. I could see it when I had dinner with her last week. She’s softened a bit, she’s more vulnerable, she’s willing to get messy.

Nothing worthwhile can be accomplished with a rigid, inflexible and know-it all attitude.

Open up. See the possibilities. Get uncomfortable. Try on a new look or two.

I can hardly wait to see her soul smile.

Efficient Holiday Shopping

2009-12-06T13:33:00.000-06:00

I don’t do crowds and I detest aimless wandering, and no other activity merges those two together in such a horrendous way than holiday shopping.

When it comes to the holidays, I don’t “shop” for gifts, I take a more calculated approach – zeroing in on my predetermined target and plucking it from the shelves with certainty and swiftness. Don’t get me wrong, this is not a cold-calculated approach, I give my gift selections much thought – but I do that BEFORE I hit the pavement.

Every year I am able to complete my holiday shopping in 2 – 3 hours flat with little aggravation. Here’s how I do it:

1. Make an Excel spreadsheet that outlines a. Who you’re buying for b. The gift you intend to purchase each person c. The price of the gift d. Where you can find that gift
I get ideas from the internet, catalogs and while out and about in the months leading up to the holidays. Sometimes I don’t always know the exact item, but I know where I am going to get it.

2. Purchase all online items first. That way if they are unavailable, you can see if you can get it at the actual store or find another on-line item.

3. Choose a weekday evening to go out and “shop”. Forget the weekends . I’ve never had to contend with long lines on weekday nights.

4. Strategically decide in which order you will go to each store to avoid going from one end of the shopping center and back several times, or worse, to avoid going from one shopping center to another and back. If are you not familiar with the shopping center, visit the center’s website and they usually have a layout of all the stores.

5. Bring your spreadsheet with you and mark off as you conquer! I also bring along an envelope to collect both the receipts and gift receipts.

Yes, I know, this is not rocket science. However, I am always surprised to learn just how many people go holiday shopping with no game plan. If I were to do that it would take me days, I’d be super duper cranky and I would end up spending way more money than I intended to.

Plan, conquer and be merry!

Are You a Sprinter or Marathoner?

2009-11-08T19:36:00.002-06:00

A growing number of my friends are running marathons these days. A few of my friends suggested that I train with them – after all I seem like the perfect candidate. SEEM, however, is the operative word here. True, I work out a lot. True, I have a lot of energy. What I seem to be lacking and what most people would never guess about me, however, is endurance.

I’m a sprinter. Not just on the track, but in life. I marvel at folks who can shop all day long, moms who caravan their 5 kids all around town all day long, friends who can stay out all night long, residents who pull all-nighters while training to be doctors, celebrities that have crazy non-stop schedules, and on and on.

I’m not a lazy person. Far from it, in fact. I just prefer life in small doses. A little bit of this and a little bit of that. Too much of one thing or too much running around with no chill time and I’m completely outta whack. Part of that is because when I “do” something I really throw myself into it…but then I need time to recover. Unlike a marathoner who makes slow and steady progress, I make big strides in a short period of time, like a sprinter.

The other part has to do with me needing some down time. What the people who see me at work all day long do not know about me is that talkative and energetic me is pretty mellow at home and the last thing I want to do after a social work day is to “turn it on” . I’m lucky to have a cool low maintenance daughter who doesn’t need a “dog and pony” show every second of the day. Actually, she’s a sprinter too – so we’re on the same page after a day of school. Together we hang, read, cook dinner, Twitter, etc.

Chicago Marathon? Never. I’ll settle for the next 5K that comes my way. Over in 25 minutes and I’ll have the rest of the day to chill.

My Most Important List

2009-11-05T17:05:00.003-06:00

Lists. We all write them. Grocery lists, to-do lists, holiday wish-lists, pro and con lists, lists of ideas and thoughts, list of personal and professional goals, top-ten lists…you get the idea.

Lists. They focus, organize, motivate, characterize, and assist us.

Today I am writing a different kind of list. As a parent, I do not take my job lightly. Although we have oodles of fun together, I know that who I am, what I do, how I communicate with my child and the experiences we have together are an essential part of shaping her into a positive and productive member of society. Parenting my child is the most amazing an honorable role I have experienced yet, and I doubt anything will surpass it.

Lately, my little one has faced some challenges with two very bossy and overpowering peers. The age of innocence is slowly diminishing as the ups and downs of "real life" are becoming more prevalent with each passing minute. So it is my duty to coach my child through life so that she will be equipped to live the best life she can.

Here is an initial list (in no particular order) of qualities I hope to foster and teach my child through example, experience and our “little chats”:

Know she is the center of my universe, but not the center of The Universe.
See the glass as half full.
Be honest with herself.
Be honest with others.
Take ownership of her own choices in life.
Be non-judgmental, embrace differences.
Be open to learning different ways of thinking and doing.
Appreciate the value of hard earned money.
Give negative people and experiences little, if any, power in her life.
Address conflict, learn from it and move on.
Contribute positively to society via career or philanthropic endeavors.
Have fun. Be a goofball.
Do not take life too seriously.
Know that with any crisis, there’s always an opportunity to make a change for the better.
Be happy for other people when they succeed.
Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want.
Don’t be afraid to be or think differently.
Do what feels right.
Best medicine = Eat well. Exercise. Laugh with friends.
Take good care of yourself. Treat yourself well.

Something to Dance About!

2009-10-26T20:54:00.002-05:00

Holy baby bonnets! BusyBabe Planners is so excited to be a part of an amazing deal for expecting and new moms. The economy stinks and we want to help you out!

For the next three months expecting and new moms can download The BabyCD, The Joy of Expecting e-book and a BusyBabe Planner and Baby Tracker for pennies (one hundred and ninety-nine pennies to be exact).

CHECK IT OUT: VIRTUALLY FREE DOWNLOAD

Now that is something to dance about!

Mommy Magic

2009-10-23T21:11:00.001-05:00

My day stopped before it even began. Appointments were canceled. Errands were put off. Adventures had been postponed. My child is sick.

Calm. Quiet. Slow. This is how our day would be now. Hugs, cuddles and gentle back rubs. Chicken noodle soup and juice. Comfy pillows and blankets. Movies and more movies. Magazines and books.

I get to be a mom. I get to take care of my baby. On ordinary days, I’m lucky enough to receive a fly-by hug as she bolts out the door to play with friends.

But today she needed me. I secretly love these days. Sometimes I think the flu was invented so that moms could be moms.

The Power of Less

2009-10-20T15:19:00.011-05:00

It had gotten really bad. I put the cereal in the fridge and the milk in the dish pantry. I wore my exercise pants inside out to the gym. Finding my keys had become a torturous daily ritual. Forgetting appointments became the norm. I was freaking myself out. I had never been so absent-minded in my life. Is this what happens when you get older? Was I showing signs of early alzheimers? No. The culprit? Stress and extreme multi-tasking.

This past summer was a crazy one for me on multiple levels. I was dealing with some icky personal issues that motivated this lady to get to work. If I'm distracted with tons of projects, I don't have to deal with the icky personal issues...right? Shift in focus. I threw my energy into creative projects for BusyBabe in addition to being the ultimate "pool taker" (a nickname my daughter awarded me for always taking her and a car load of other people's kids to the pool). I had so much going on, that I was really never fully present. People and projects were getting only a fraction of me and the result was not positive.

I was one big ball of multi-tasking nervous energy. I thought I was having tons of fun and in my element, but my mother knew better. "I'm worried about you. I know you think you're fine, but you can't fool me. Or your brother. Or your sister-in-law. Or your dad." Okay, okay...I get it.

Being a highly self-reflective person has its benefits and aggravations. This time it was very helpful. I took a step back, thought about what was going in in my life, evaluated my coping mechanism and decided to take a new approach.

Be fully present. Do one thing at a time. Focus on the task at hand. Enjoy.

Good decision. Fast-forward to now. I'm getting more done, am more effective, way less forgetful and more rested. Most noteworthy, the little person in my life is getting the best of me. Instead of thinking of x,y and z while playing with her I am fully engaged. What a delight that is -- and I know she can sense it. (Just look at us baking an apple pie together yesterday. Oh the playground gossip I learned while she sliced apples with me. http://whrrl.com/experience/story/18562870?sharer=18288823)

I've always been a rapid constant thinker (again, beneficial and aggravating). I've had to and still have to train myself to focus only on the task at hand. Everyday I catch myself thinking about some unrelated thought and have to bring myself back. Once back, however, I have more patience and appreciation for what I am doing. I notice more and I am more available to receiving subtle messages via people, the environment or the universe.

Being "busy" doing lots of little different tasks while your mind is all over the place is an exhausting way to live and gets you nowhere.

Slow down. Focus on what's in front of you. Connect with the moment. Observe it. Play with it. Let it teach you. Enjoy it.

Interested in learning more? Give this a read: The Power of Less

NO

2009-10-13T15:34:00.005-05:00

Said simply and confidently without emotion, "NO" is one of the most refreshing words in the English language.

Hearing NO. You may not always want to hear the word NO, but when delivered in a definitive fashion with no room for negotiation you are given an opportunity to change course and move on. Seize the moment. Often times the word NO forces us to be creative and come to terms with certain struggles and fears that impede personal and professional growth.

Saying NO. This simple word is often the most difficult to utter. Fear, guilt, lack of confidence and self-worth, etc. all rear their ugly faces as and cause us to say yes when we really don't want to. Stop. Recognize. Evaluate. Will saying NO be destructive or constructive? Decide. Say it simply. Move on.

Small Talk

2009-10-12T13:09:00.013-05:00

“You’re so tall! When did you grow?” - OR - “When did all this happen?” (That's me, the tiny one in the front.)

I just spent my weekend reuniting with old high school buds, most of whom I have not seen in 20 years. That question plagued me all weekend and even my friends were hassled about it too. “Lisa, if one more person asks me when you grew I’m gonna…”

It’s funny how we’re remembered. We leave behind a vibe, an essence, an over-all image. Clearly, I was the little one. “ Little Lisa” was a nickname of mine in high school. Funny thing is that I grew my senior year, but no one noticed – they were so committed to the fact that I was little that I don’t think they processed it. Twenty years later, it’s like I’ve been spiking my juice with Miracle Grow ( and I’m only 5’6”). I’ve spent more than half my life now being of average size. My life is filled with people who have never known me as a small person, so I find it cute that my lasting impression amongst my high school peers was one of smallness.

At the reunion a good friend of mine was horrified when an alum with a "certain reputation" (if ya know what I mean) had sneezed on her by accident. "Oh gross. You know I'm gonna get a disease now." That's a lasting impression you don't want to make.

I saw many faces this past weekend. Many I had a hard time remembering, many I remembered well. I don’t remember specifics. It’s the vibe, the essence, the lasting image that come to mind. The nice guy, the athlete, the shy girl, the goof ball, the brain, etc. Despite all the various personalities and labels from days past, we all have one thing in common. We grew up. We could care less about each others jobs, houses, cars, marital status (those cares are reserved for the 10 year reunion, which I didn’t go to). Are you doing well? Are you happy? Are you healthy? That's what we asked about. It was neat to reconnect on a completely different level. No pun intended.

Stuck in a Rut

2009-10-08T16:13:00.002-05:00

I’m quickly pooping this post out so that I can “deal” and move on. Every once in awhile I get stuck. Completely stuck. I know where I want to go, I just can’t figure out how to get there. This time it’s concerning my small business. I have some projects I am “working” on – although I wouldn’t really call it working because I’m doing a whole lot of nothing. Just spinning my wheels here big time.

Here’s what I’m gonna do. When I get stuck I am lucky enough to at least know my destination. In the past, I have found it helpful to fully map out my vision in words and sketches and then just let it be. When I stop thinking so hard about the “how” and move on, the “ah ha” moments and ideas come flooding in out of nowhere – sometimes within days and sometimes within months.

So, once I post this that’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna whip out my thinking journal and go to work. Then, when my daughter is done with her homework we're gonna play and cook dinner, and later tonight I’m actually going to watch T.V., knowing that someday the answers will come.

What do you do when you’re stuck?

Fine Dining (Even with Just Pizza)

2009-10-06T20:23:00.004-05:00

I love dinner time in the fall and winter. About five years ago when we moved into our home we did not have a chandelier in the dining room and had to eat by candlelight if we wanted to see each other. And so the tradition of eating by candlelight every night in the fall and winter began.

We’ve had lighting in our dining room for three years now, but I still light candles every night in addition to the dimmed lighting no matter what we eat for dinner. Pizza looks so much better in beautiful lighting. The lighting, however, is only half the effect. There’s the music too. I’m a big into playing jazz, classical, salsa, or other music that compliments what we are eating. Not only does this create a nicer environment in which to dine, I have more fun with preparing dinner (which is not always fun for me). Plus, I seriously believe my child automatically has better manners when dining in a nice ambiance. She likes to set the table and prepare “fancy” arrangements (perhaps a candy hidden in the napkin). I want my child to have an appreciation for dining, good music and conversation. This can not be achieved while chowing down dinner at the kitchen counter or in front of the T.V. All it takes is putting the food on the table, striking a match and turning on some tunes.

When It All Comes Together

2009-10-03T12:17:00.002-05:00

At sixteen you’re ready to drive. At eighteen you’re ready to go to college. At 22 you’re ready for your career. At 27 you’re ready to get married. At 30 it’s time to have a baby. Not so much for everyone. I think about all of the high school students I used to teach that really weren’t ready for college right away or those friends I have who found the love of their life way later than their peers. And then I think of my brothe and father.

I just got off the phone with my mother for the fourth time this morning. The first three conversations revolved around “girl stuff” and the last conversation was about my forty-one year old brother and seventy-two year old dad.

Growing up my dad and brother did not have the best relationship. My dad was “all man”, no emotion and my brother was (and still is) highly sensitive. Although they both enjoyed sports and shared and a great sense of humor, their temperament and approach to life was very different causing friction and dysfunctional communication.

In his earlier years, my brother was pretty directionless. He went to college (cuz that’s what you do) but quickly dropped out. He acquired odd jobs, enrolled in community college and dropped out again. He then moved to New Mexico with his then girlfriend (now wife) to attend New Mexico State – he almost finished college that time. Finally, he moved back to Chicago and worked for my dad in the movie business for several years. Working for my dad filled his pocketbook, but not his soul. He was still directionless and unhappy and it was obvious.

Then one day at the age of thirty-six, he made the most important decision of his life. He decided to quit the movie business and go back to school to become a physical education teacher. Of course! Why had he not thought of that earlier!? Very athletic and excellent with kids, this would be the perfect profession for him. He completed the program and is now on his third year teaching at the middle school and coaching at both the high school and middle school.

As I’m pounding this away, my brother is coaching one of two football games on this awesome fall day and my dad is on the sidelines watching. While watching my brother coach, my dad got choked up and called my mom to express his extreme pride in his son. My mom said she could hear my dad glow through the phone. My brother is so in his element and peace and confidence now reside within him as a result. My father has come a long way too, becoming an emotional sap who tears up at the site of his son coach and site of me hug my daughter.

Two of the most important people in my life have evolved into more “complete” beings in their own time. I share my brother’s story with parents of students who wonder if their child will ever get motivated or “figure it out”. I think too of lessons that I am just now learning that many of my peers mastered in their twenties. We “do it” and “figure it out” when we are ready and it is meaningful to us…and for everyone, it’s not at the same time.

Preventing After School Chaos

2009-09-28T10:11:00.008-05:00

Ever feel like you’re running a 3-ring circus after school juggling all the homework and activities? Do your kids ever complain that they have too much too do and don’t have anytime to “play”? Does one of your kids often have meltdowns? Mastering the hours after school can be difficult, I know…and I only have one child!

Routine is always helpful, but due to the inconsistencies of some schedules, routine is not always possible. If you’ve got one of those kids who functions a lot better when he/she knows what to expect, consider using one of the following After School Agenda templates for kids of any age.

The first After School Agenda (#1) is organized by the hour. Each circle (hour) is broken into 15 minute sections. The arrangement helps kids to better conceptualize how much time they have to complete work and play at night. In addition to homework time and activities, make sure you fill in snack time, dinner time and play time. Kids need to see that they have time to do what they want (or hopefully see that they have more time than they think).

The second After School Agenda (#2) has space for kids to create a “to-do” list for their homework, activities and appointments, chores and “me time”.

For the child who gets stressed after school or has meltdowns, it is very helpful to plan as much as the afternoon as you can the night before and go over it with your child so that he/she knows what to expect. Have the agenda handy when the child arrives home and go through it with him/her again and fill in any new information.

Less is More...In My World

2009-09-26T21:47:00.011-05:00

I’m sitting in the lobby of a “family-friendly” resort (you know the kind…this one sports an attached indoor water park) working on my laptop while my daughter is in an adjacent conference room rehearsing with the choir on their annual retreat. Although the log cabin themed lobby dons big comfy chairs and a huge central fireplace, this is anything but a relaxing resort. Kids are a buzz, Tears for Fears is playing a tad too loudly over the speaker system and the front desk staff is just an ounce too chirpy

Perhaps I’m just old fashioned. Perhaps I just can’t be over-stimulated. Whatever it is I just can’t stand places that scream KIDS! Now, I LOVE kids. I think they’re better than adults. Optimistic, bright-eyed, curious, and “trainable”. What is not to love? But there’s something about Chuck E Cheese, Water Parks, etc. that just do me in. They drain my pocketbook and do nothing to nourish either my soul or my child’s body. Junk food abounds and many seem to have left their manners at home. Example : stranger boy is witnessed downing nachos and chocolate shake while simultaneously begging his dad for more money for the arcade. When dad says no more, kid FREAKS.

I think when it becomes ALL about the kids, that’s when it can get ugly. Growing up I remember dining out at restaurants my mom and dad chose. We weren’t always happy about that, but we learned how to sit at a table, talk and eat real food – not chicken nuggets. My brother and I did not always get along, but these were bonding moments for us as we had to “painfully” endure the 30 minute “after-dinner” coffee ritual. We’d talk to each other and play tic-tac toe. We didn’t know it then, but those we important opportunities for us to genuinely connect to each other and not video games.

I was fortunate enough that my family could vacation every year. However, again, it was not centered entirely around the kids. We often stayed at this one resort in Mexico and our room had no T.V. That’s right – no T.V., no video games, no water park, etc. Those were our BEST vacations. My dad, mom, brother and I would stay up until all hours of the night playing hang man and laughing hysterically because my dad can’t spell, and my brother would read to us from any random book in an English accent…and we’d eagerly listen to him. My dad and I would take pictures of the sunsets and enjoy the nighttime panoramic view of the bay. Every night we would enjoy a grown up dinner and survive it. It wasn’t all about us, but it was BETTER for us. We learned how to talk to one another, how to listen, how to exercise patience, how to be creative when bored and how to enjoy the beautiful environment. We depended upon each other for entertainment and as a result made great connections during these times. We weren’t distracted by EXTREME fajitas, video arcades or a circus-like environment.

I’m not saying meaningful times can’t be had or meaningful times can’t be made at these places – of course they can! The kids have a great time and the parents enjoy watching them have fun. My daughter is ecstatic to be at the water park today and will recap her adventures on the slides for days. However, I think there's beauty in "the simple". I guess I’m just a bit of a romantic when it comes to dinner and family vacations. I like and value the good old pure and simple meal that does not accommodate the taste buds and attention span of an eight year old, and family activities that not only are fun but encourage the family to really connect.

Jazz Up Study Time

2009-09-19T22:27:00.006-05:00

Homework time…some kids breeze right through it and for others it’s torture. If you’ve got a creative and active kid who loathes the idea of studying for assessments (spelling tests, multiplication facts, even AP chemistry) the old paper and pencil way, consider some of the ideas outlined in my Whrrl photo story. I am not suggesting this be done with every assignment or every time your child needs to study for a test, and I’m not suggesting these ideas as a way to “cater” to your child or protect him/her from the realities of hard and dull work. We all have to do things we don’t like to do and we need to accept it. However, we all do learn and remember information differently. If we can show our kids other ways to attack “study” time, they just might become study nerds!

The ideas outlined in the photo story reflect some of the ways my students have studied over the years and can be used with any age child. I taught high school for several years and they get into practicing math problems on windows just as much as the younger kids. I remember well one very athletic female high school student I taught who would study for her tests by setting up an obstacle course around her house. She’d place the review questions around the perimeter of her house and would run to each question, answer it and then do some sort of physical activity. Hey…whatever works!

The Psychology of a Closet

2009-09-15T16:00:00.000-05:00

I believe strongly that the state of one’s closet reveals a lot about someone. This is why there will be no pictures of my closet on this post. My closet is my secret little disaster. Upon inspection one would most likely conclude that I am a mess. Clothes are struggling to stay on their hangers, “stuff” is strewn on the closet floor and don’t you dare open one of the dresser drawers because what you will find is an interpretation of a Jackson Pollack painting via my clothes.

Now I could show you my closet and only my closet. You’d open it up, decide I’m a mess and call it a day. However, it’s not that simple. As you would tour the rest of my home you would find a pretty tidy house (as tidy as it can get with a seven year old and her revolving door of friends). Most “things” have a place and I am quite dedicated to straightening out my home on a daily basis. I do not like environmental chaos. I find it difficult to think and relax in a disastrous environment.

So…what’s with my closet? It’s been a life long challenge for me since the day I can remember. I could just say it’s my place to “let my hair down”, to let go of control. But I’m not sure that is it. You see, I am frustrated by my closet. It bothers me to no end that I can’t keep it all nice and perfect (more about a perfect closet later). It would be one thing if I could just surrender to the fact that my closet will always be a mess – to just accept that fact and move on. But I can’t. About every two months I clean my closet out because I just can’t take it any longer, yet within about two weeks it’s back to its normal mess.

My best guess at this point is that it has something to do with my dual-natured personality. I’m a two-sided gal (perhaps it’s the Gemini in me). My closet, I think, is the battleground for my creative, random and sponanteous side to duke it out with my practical, linear and planned side, because that’s what it feels like to me…war! In life I’ve always been a free-flowing big-picture thinker that loathes the details (hence a messy closet), yet when there is too much going on or I feel overwhelmed my coping skill is to create order by getting all linear and detailed (hence my closet clean-out every two months).

Now about the “perfect closet”…
I’ll never forget the day I walked into one of my good friend’s closets. I wanted to cry. It was so painstakingly perfect that I was a bit unsettled, even sad. Funny that a closet can do that to you. Every piece of clothing was hung on a beautiful wooden hanger spaced evenly apart and grouped by both clothes type and color. All shoes were stored immaculately in clear plastic shoe boxes. Not one item was out of place. On a superficial level I could conclude that she is just a neat freak, but since I know her well her closet seesms to be just another example of her need for control. Her entire condo follows suit. Perfect, perfect, perfect. She is a workaholic, pleaser to the max and will more readily take care of others than herself. She has great taste and likes beautiful things, but I wonder how much of her perfectionism is an attempt to take command of her life as she has faced a great deal of adversity that was beyond her control.

A closet…just a place to store your clothes or a representation of you on a deeper level? What do you think? What does your closet reveal about you?

Are You Left of Right Brain Dominant?

2009-09-10T20:13:00.000-05:00

The human brain. That wonderfully magical organism comprised of two hemispheres: the left and the right. One side needs the other for us to thrive, to make sense of the world in the most meaningful way possible. At their best, they work in tandem and compliment each other. Kind of like peanut butter and jelly.

Scientists continue to study the capabilities and roles of the left and right hemispheres and how a brain’s functional organization contributes to various aptitudes and talents. It’s complex and wonderfully fascinating, but we’re gonna keep it simple. Based on current popular knowledge, let’s have a little fun and see how this all applies to you!

Clearly no one is just right brained or left brained. However, many of us (not all) tend to exhibit a hemispheric dominance. Read on and discover or confirm where you fall.

The biggest differences between the two hemispheres are:

Left: Part-to-Whole: builds upon pieces of knowledge to gain information and see big picture
Right: Whole-to-Part: understands/sees the big picture and determines the interconnectedness of all the parts

Left: Verbal (Language): possesses a command of the 3 Rs; reading, writing and arithmetic
Right: Non-Verbal (Visual-Spatial): understands visual relationships in both time and space

Left: Linear: completes tasks and processes information in order; sequential and analytic thinking
Right: Non-linear: processes information quickly in a non-sequential manner; tangential and creative thinking

Left: Logical: uses logic to problem solve and make decisions
Right: Intuitive: uses intuition to problem solve and make decisions

Left: “Book Smart”
Right: “Street Smart”

Now take this unscientific QUIZ to find out if you have a hemispheric preference!

Why should I care if I have a right or left brain dominance?
We use labels in our society to help make sense of the world and ourselves. By reflecting on our strengths and challenges and our style of processing information and completing tasks we become more in tune with who we are. When we truly recognize our strengths and embrace them we allow ourselves the opportunity to capitalize upon them, to make the most of that at which we excel. The same goes for our challenges. When we recognize and embrace our struggles we are more open to learning ways we can improve in that area or learn strategies to help us compensate…or just simply surrender to our challenges (which can be a very liberating feeling).

How about you? What have you learned or confirmed about yourself? What does this mean to you?

About this Blog

2009-09-08T20:07:00.000-05:00

It’s funny how things just happen. Like how I’m sitting on my couch writing a blog. Never did I ever intend to write a blog. But now that I’ve decided to do it, it just makes so much sense.

1. I think A LOT, so much so that sometimes I wish I could take my head off and empty it out...especially before I go to bed. Only two things settle my mind: exercise and writing.

2. Since joining Twitter 2.5 months ago, I have been exposed to a plethora of great people and have learned A LOT. I want to contribute. After stumbling upon this article I was convinced: 19 Reasons You Should Blog and Not Just Tweet

3. This blog, I hope, will be true to who I am and what I am passionate about. And who’s that? Here is my response to one of @lizstrauss Blog entitled What's at the Crossroads of Your Skills and Your Most Passionate Challenges

I am a mother. I am a teacher. I am the co-founder of a company that produces planners for new moms. I am a friend. At the heart of each of those roles I am a listener, problem solver, and an organizer of thinking. It is what I love to do — it is who I am at the core. I am never so passionate as I am when a student feels overwhelmed and needs strategies to carry on, or when a friend talks about starting her own business but doesn’t know where to start, or when a new mom needs a way to organize her thinking/approach with a new baby to care for. As long as I’m given the chance to listen, reflect, problem solve, strategize and help initiate a “system” I am happy.

Why Right Brain Left Brain? The focus of this blog (I hope, but I could get all right-brained on you and go in an entirely different direction) is to share both practical and creative approaches and explore solutions to everyday issues that children, students and parents face.

To kick it off, my first official blog post will be about the right and left brain profiles and you’ll get to take a quiz to find out what hemisphere you have a preference for (or which one fights for your attention). My right side ALWAYS tugs at my sleeve and I’m happiest when I’m allowed to let the right side take over. I can do the left side well, but when lefty gets demanding, I get really cranky and stressed out. What about you?